February has been an interesting one and yes, I do realise it is not yet over! But since the very beginning of February my life has taken twists and turns that have thrown me into emotional storms and spat me back out again.
Don't get me wrong. I have had an absolute blast. I have had plenty of stupidly drunk nights, I've travelled to Amsterdam with some of the best people and experienced things that I never thought I would. But it hasn't all been pretty. I've learnt that people aren't always who they seem and to not let my guard down easily to those I think I can trust.
Throwback to a month ago and I would have never imagined any of these things happening. I've let my guard down more than I should have but regret absolutely nothing, surprisingly. At the end of the day, I believe everything happens for a reason. If things are meant to be, they will be. You can't change fate for anyone unfortunately. And if that means people treating me like an absolute fool, I guess I'll take it.
The end of January saw a change in my ordinary manner. I let my guard down for someone I thought dearly of, and then did it again and again and again. Truth is, I'll pretty much do anything for the people I care for and think highly of. I'm an emotional person and I get attached to those who show affection and care. It had been a while since anyone had shown me that amount of affection and sincerity and I fell pretty much instantly.
Things haven't turned out how I wished. But it's just another learning curve, right? Once again, my favourite quote comes into play:
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” - Marilyn Monroe
This quote could not be more appropriate right now. I think I need to have it printed on my wall, just to remind me each day!
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