I spend the majority of my days day dreaming: imagining situations, thinking about people and dwelling on past events. I often find myself lost in thought mid conversation with people, causing myself to look rather ignorant.
I am one of those people who think way too much about things. I over-think everything: people's messages, behaviours and actions. For some strange reason my mind wants me to believe that a month of talking and flirtatious behaviour means someone actually likes me. When in fact it means nothing of the sort...apparently.
The reason behind my thoughts is that I care far too much. I believe that the people who flood my mind are the people I deeply care for. I fear that one day, the people who fill my mind with emotion, won't be there in the future to drown my conscious self with the feelings I feel now.
One minute, I will be completely focused in a lecture. The next, I'm causing my eyes to burn with emotion through the thought of an action. "But how do they feel?" "Do they feel the same?" "Why did they do that?" Every question has a million and one answers.
My mind disallows me to believe what I feel is right. Every possible solution or answer has a loop hole: nothing is ever simple.
But don't get me wrong. My jungle of a mind can sometimes create positive thoughts which stay with me. I wake up from dreams and smile as if reality is somewhat more bearable. Sometimes my thought make the see the best in people, "perhaps they aren't as bad as they once seemed?".
At the end of the day, people aren't always what they seem. Your mind can convince you that they are the complete opposite of who they truly are. They can act like a total idiot to you and you still think the sun shines out their arse (pardon my French)Trust me, it has happened to me.
But the main thing is to try and stay true to who you are. If someone cannot make the effort to be in your life, they do not deserve to be a part of it. Do not change yourself and alter your life for them. Simple.
No comments:
Post a Comment